Nurture Me Whole's Blog

A single Mom, one day at a time, living to be the Woman He created me to be!

something quick March 8, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — nurturemewhole @ 3:45 pm

Oh happy Monday! The day has passed by so quickly and already I have to go to

work. I have such a yucky feeling in the pit of my stomach as today I got a few “hard

to stomach” text messages from my darling ex-husband (to be). This issue that I will

soon be faced with is going to require lots and lots and lots of prayer. For a lot of

different reasons, and for a lot of different people. DIVORCE. My stomach turns

when I say that word. There are a lot of emotions attached to it and where I once

didn’t have to feel any of them as long as I could stay high.. Now I feel everything

and I have to decide which tool I will pull out of the bag that is called coping

mechanisms. I usually choose the Lord, for he is my greatest strength, but I am not

always aware of the need for Him and sometimes I will quickly grab anger, or guilt,

or shame. Those are the ones that aren’t even supposed to be in my bag. But they

are. I have to leave to go to work soon but I just wanted to take a minute to get this

out. To lighten the load if only just a tiny bit. As I get ready for work I will talk with

the Lord and share my heart. I will give it all to Him and ask for his guidance. I will

pray for wisdom in my decision-making knowing that I will need His wisdom.

Relying on my own will surely fail me. I need the Lord to get through this for sure

and I am so grateful that God loves me so much that it was in His plan all along that

I would not have to deal with this matter (for real) until I was strong enough in Him

to know that I am so incapable in my selfish human ways to conquer a thing so big

without the guidance of my Savior.

Here is to being still and knowing He is God.

Be Blessed,

Jacki

Advertisements
 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s