Nurture Me Whole's Blog

A single Mom, one day at a time, living to be the Woman He created me to be!

a few thoughts March 29, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — nurturemewhole @ 9:20 am

I dread the thought of someone saying “tell me about yourself”

I have a hard time putting my thoughts into words. I think that is why I like writing so much. When I write, I can delete as many sentences (or erase/scratch out) as I want to. When speaking, obviously, that’s not an option. I still do it though! ha! I must say the same thing a million ways before I feel like I have gotten my point across.

As I was making my coffee this morning, waking up, and hanging around the kitchen I was thinking of some things “about me” and wondering if they will ever change. Which also leads me to wonder how I was as a child.

I am the kind of Mom who doesn’t like noise. I like quiet and calm. No running, no yelling, no screams of delight. I am working on that. That is part of being a child, I know. I wonder why I am startled by noise. Then I get irritated because I don’t like being startled.

Also, talking on the phone. Before texting was so popular, I talked on the phone all the time. I would talk to my best friend for an hour or more every day on the phone. Now, I shudder when the phone rings. I would rather just text. One of the biggest reasons is because I get horrible service in my house. I have to sit in one little spot that I find service and I feel “stuck”. So the whole time I’m on the phone I can’t do anything else but sit there and that doesn’t work for me. Yes, some matters must be discussed on the phone and that’s different.. but for the most part, I’d just rather text. (I can hear the person’s voice in my head when I read the texts, so it’s practically the same anyway!)

The last thought was about something that I often hear (mostly at work). People say something to the effect of: ” you are always so calm” “you are always on an even keel” “you never seem to be worked up”. I take that as a compliment because if they ever knew what was going on inside of my head since coming to know the Lord and getting a relationship with Him, I have found such a peace in my life. When people say that about me it makes me so grateful that I gave my life to God and let Him take the wheel. I am not saying that I don’t have moments. O BELIEVE ME I DO. Sometimes I am overwhelmed with worry and fear. But eventually I come to my senses and give those things to the Lord and it’s all good.  It makes me wonder how people do life without Him. It is so impossible. God is Good. All the time. I am so in love.

I like knowing that I have a choice. I am not who the world says I am. I am who God says I am and I have a choice. I am who God says I am and as for all my failures and shortcomings.. well, as long as I get back up, ask for forgiveness, and move forward then I get to keep working on getting better, right? O that is a good feeling!

Here’s to finding who you are in God. You will love yourself, I’m sure!

Be Blessed, Jacki


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